Our Not So Happy Family

You clenched your ears tighter as the noise level increased. You pushed your back up against the door, shutting it as though that would tune out the yelling. "Stop it. Stop it. Stop it." You chanted as you slid down the door, tears streaming down your face.

Being scared was a major understatement for what you were feeling at the moment. The yelling increased. Your heart rate sped up. Your heart beat could be heard in you ears even when you plugged them tightly. You wished that your heart beat was loud enough for your parents to hear it and stop all the yelling. You wished it would stop. You wished that you could just walk out the door and forget about your almost broken family. You wished for a way out.

But these were all wishes that no fairy god mother could ever grant.

And anyways, you could never leave. Not since your baby brother was born. Now, the little guy was about four months old. He was the cutest little thing and you loved him. No matter how much you wanted to leave this hell whole, you would never leave him in the depths of it.

You considered the thought of taking him with you, leaving this crap house and crap parents. They only cared about their selves. Not even thinking twice about their children.

You flinched at the sound of a door slamming loud. You heard your mother yell out curses, and your father yelling them back. Mostly yelling stuff about opening the door, but you didn't care what they said. All you cared about was them shutting up.

You assumed that the door that was keeping your parents apart was finally open, for your mother was yelling at him to get out. At that moment, your brother started crying.

Without thinking, you stood up. You were now tempted to pick up your baby brother, and leave.

You reached for the doorknob until a loud, crashing noise stopped you. Your eyes filled with terror. What happened? Did someone get hurt? You were frozen in place. You didn't want to know if someone was or not.

But the yelling gave you the answer. Your mother was screaming for your father to get away continuously.  Your father, in a now calm voice was trying to tell her to calm down unsuccessfully.

But your idiot mother wouldn't calm down. You thought that maybe if she just shut up the whole thing would be over.

But she never did. "Just shut up mom..." You pleaded as you sat back down, even more tears streaming down your face.

You could hear your moms loud sobs through the thin walls. You opened your misty eyes. Was it over?

You waited a few minutes. No more yelling. You wiped the tears away from your face as you stood up and quietly opened the door. You carefully walked into the hall and peaked into your parents room. There she was. You mother, sobbing in the arms of the man who made her sob in the first place.

You hated him at the moment. You wanted him to just leave. Your stubborn father was the reason these arguments started.

But you hated your mother more. All this would have never happened if she didn't just leave him the second the arguments started when she was pregnant with you. She had a chance to leave, but her stubbornness was just as bad as your fathers. She always said that she wanted her children to grow up with something she didn't have, a father. But was it worth it? Getting yelled at for the littlest things? Getting abused by the man that supposedly loves her? Was any of it worth it?

The more you thought about it, the more you realized that you hated yourself more than any of them. It was your fault they got into fights like these, wasn't it? Your fault your mother didn't leave him when she had the chance. Your fault your brother may come out as awkward and messed up as you grew up to be.

You wondered if all of this would end if you just left.